I will write here because there will be no controversy with what I have to say. I have stood on this crossing on the tracks before. It wasn't exactly here. But part of it is the same. It should mean something am I right? For this to be a constant in my life. It keeps coming back over and over again. That must mean something, right? Not only does it keep coming back, but it makes me stop and think. Makes me want to drop my life and restart. I know it will not be everything I long for. I know it's unstable and unreliable. But my pros and cons list never has a tie breaker. I can't have both forever. I know this. Some loves never go away. This one never has. I don't even know what to do. Maybe I do and I am just prolonging the inevitable. I am just so scared of taking a step either way being ruinous. The worst being I like talking things out and the one person I could talk to is so not worth my time. Honestly, could you not say theres love and affection here? | 
